Something arises from the dark. It is not pleasant. It has scales and is slimy. I do not like the look of it at all and I recoil. I am not that kind of beast.
This morning, driving in the car with himself, and he was saying how he had been very moved during our last visit to the Tibetan Buddhist centre, how for the first time ever the visualisations had come alive for him, how he had glimpsed the power and bliss of the Yidam.
”I think it was because I was very touched that D– had invited us to his baby’s initiation. I was moved by his generosity,” he said.
I suddenly saw. His nature, in that moment, was completely free of jealousy or envy, happy in the joy of the other, and so there were no bindings to constrain the consciousness. Thus he had merged with the Yidam.
It just happened to be the (absence of) the beast of envy I saw. It could have been anger or judgement or pride, or a million other yokes that our conditioned minds contain. The divine energies are so incomprehensibly vast, so sophisticated, so stupendously powerful, that any leash on the mind keeps them concealed.
Invisible hooks, anchors, lashings, stabilisers, security blankets, bindings, straps, harnesses; righteousness, greed, pride, contempt, craving, all the complex restraints that hold the consciousness trapped, unable to expand and be free.
But if we try to lash down our monsters, to repress and overpower them, what can that do, except exclude Oneness?
Better to expand infinitely to accommodate any brutish impulse, to become ever more spacious and let it be, to give monsters room to breathe, the compassionate light of acceptance to bathe in, to be liberated with loving-kindness for all our gracious barbarians from the deep.