”I believe in the erotic and I believe in it as an enlightening force within our lives as women. I have become clearer about the distinctions between the erotic and other apparently similar forces. We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way. And when I say living I mean it as that force which moves us toward what will accomplish real positive change.”
~ Audre Lorde
Some drifting thoughts…
Okay. Genesis states that ”God made man in his own image..” and, fair enough, it does add, ”Male and Female, he created them..” which suggests God was happy enough to be found in the image of a female. But for the last…ooooh, about 5000 years or so…the image of God has been almost exclusively male. And that is fine. Or it’s not, but that is not really what I am thinking about here. Because the anthropomorphism of God is not really a huge concern of mine, (nor do I think he has a white beard and a throne.)
BUT, because God is largely Male in the cultural, psychological and esoteric milieu…heck, even Purusha, the detached, cold, abiding, pure awareness is characterised as ”male”…. then perhaps it is easier for a man to know God.
After all, a man can quite easily feel a fraternal love for this brother God; he can heartily and willingly feel admiration and surrender to this ‘dude’ God who knows what it is to walk as a man.
He is a peer, this God ~ for a man.
One of the homies. The bros. The head honcho on the block, and a man can have respect and love for his brother.
But for a woman, perhaps it is different.
Since the image of Goddess is not yet fully developed…and let’s face it, we are still tweaking at the edges to develop her archetype, plucking at mythology and trying very hard to make her solid and real, after millennia of plunder and fire and extinction…then to what can a woman viscerally relate? God must, at her deepest levels of conditioned psyche, still be her male counterpart. God is not really She to most of us. Yes, we embody the Goddess but God at an archetypal and primary level is still male. I’m talking at an emotional level here, at the level of the trigger pictographs in our consciousness..
And father does not always cut the mustard. Too many Bad Daddy stories in the mix. And girls tease their brothers. They just can’t help it. They have seen their blushing faces and their embarrassments with chicks.
So, lover then.
God must be sought as the lover.
So it seems. Witness the mystics of the aeons. The female mystics I mean.
Joan of Arc, Thérése of Liseaux, Julian of Norwich, Hildegard. They displayed all the overt symptoms of an ecstatic surrender to God, an owning of God as their lover. Of being passionately overcome. Also the female mystics in other traditions, such as Mira Bai or Lal Ded, they often wandered naked and singing in passionate bliss and open surrender to their beloved, their Lord, beyond whom nothing existed. The Vajrayana yoginis reached God through sexual ecstasy. And so on.
In mundane life women often turn, as they grow older, to their doctor or their priest, making an idol out of one or the other. Or they turn to food, or mindless addiction, to fill the gnaw of the infinite Void within. They are looking, I have been thinking, for the erotic charge that a woman perhaps needs to explode the relationship with God. After all, look at how many women don robes and sway and chant before male gurus, blissed out at their service to him, even if that service be but some pale and paltry remnant of the raw explosive arc of electric kundalini that, perhaps even unknown to themselves, they always yearn for.
So, my wondering is this…Does the female seeker always need the external erotic charge, the luminous flux of the priest, and if so, is this because we are not ”made in the image of God”, or at least are we are never truly and sufficiently shown that we are, so that deep down we can not really ever know it? At least not at this time. Not at this time after such a long contempt for the Goddess..
Or can the female charge herself?
OM TAT SAT